I know you’ve read them.
Those books that you plunked down with a weary sigh and said, ’Thank god that’s over’ – that’s if you even made it to the end. A slog of a book is almost enough to make you give up reading, almost.
The last thing you want is for one of your readers to say that about your book.
Readers will only beg for something to happen for so long before giving up and investing in a story worth their time.
Don’t let these five things slow the pacing of your novel.
Drawn-out flashbacks
Flashbacks can be a double-edged sword – handled deftly, they can seamlessly provide context and background information; mishandled, they can slow pacing and grind your novel to a halt.
Flashbacks, by definition, pause the forward momentum of the story, and regardless of how exciting those events are, it’s the present moment that the reader cares about the most. So be judicious. Aks yourself: Does the reader need to know this? And, if so, do they need to know now?
One way to decide this is whether the information or backstory gives some extra context to the current scene. However, rather than blasting the reader back to the past for chunks of paragraphs, work the flashback in naturally using as few lines as necessary. Here’s a snippet from Emma Newman’s Planetfall (I’ve shown the flashback in italics):
It takes a few seconds for the software to smooth out the image, but it works well enough. If only we’d known to do that the first time we came here.
Once it’s done, I look around for my experiment. I last came here about two months ago and it was the first time I left something behind. I didn’t leave the experiment in plain sight, in case someone else in the colony is doing the same as me, so it takes a minute or so to locate the fold of membrane I chose as a marker.
Elegantly done. So much so, you barely notice the intrusion. Playing out the previous arrival in full, carving up the scene, not so much.
The longer the flashback, especially if it spans a few pages or even a chapter, the more necessary it should be to the current scene. Ask yourself: how much does the flashback contribute to the understanding of the current situation?
You’re showing too much
One of the biggest offenders that slows pacing is excessive detail. This usually happens when authors take the advice ‘Show, don’t tell’ too literally, causing them to show every minute detail or action. This oversimplification drums the idea into the writer’s head that telling is never(!) allowed, and you end up with passages like this:
The sun beat down, stifling. Beads of sweat tickled his skin as they crept down his reddened face, shirt sticking to his back.
Or
She brushed her teeth and gargled some mouthwash before heading into the kitchen to grab lunch, then double-checked Max the dog was inside, picked up the keys then left for work.
But these passages imbue mundane actions with too much significance. Sometimes it’s fine to say ‘it was hot’ or ‘she got ready for work’ (contrary to what the ‘you must always show’ advice peddles) when the information isn’t crucial to the scene. Or, instead of showing too much, including one detail is often enough to have the reader get the gist and fill in the rest; the reader knows what being hot feels like.
Are there scenes where showing too much insignificant stuff is delaying getting to the action? Taking the above example, if something important happens at work or on the way, trimming the leaving preparations will improve the pace.
Knowing what to show and what to tell can be tough, but a rule of thumb is to always show significant events, while using narrative summary for information that is important for context but doesn’t need dramatising.
World-building and setting overwhelm the story
I get it, okay. You’ve created a vibrant, wondrous world with several cultures and sects, cool creatures, and a badass magic system. Of course you want to share your creativity with the reader; and they love it… For many it’s the reason they adore speculative fiction.
But your purpose, above all, is to write a story. And your world could contain the most imaginative ideas to grace the page in decades, but description can only get you so far. At some point, readers will want something to happen. It’s this tendency – to get everything on the page – that leaves readers feeling they’re reading an encyclopaedia.
If the viewpoint character needs to urgently deliver a message to the king, they may pass regal statues of warlords or impressive tapestries lining the pillars. That’s fair to mention. What readers don’t need to know – at least not right now – is how they turned the tide of battle or the tragic life of the artist.
If it’s a story given that animals talk in your world, readers are happy to accept that without an explanation of how they talk, unless it’s important to the plot.
Speculative fiction isn’t the only victim of excessive worldbuilding; ordinary settings can be overdone too. The comforting hum of conversation complemented by familiar smells in a quaint coffee shop, the decor of which hasn’t changed since the ’80s, may be remarked upon by a reminiscent returnee to the town, but not by someone being chased and looking to hide.
As with many elements of fiction, ask yourself does the reader need to know this detail (and whether the character thinks or perceives it) now.
Don’t let detail and descriptions overwhelm the story. If you want help with incorporating world-building without info-dumping, read this post.
Description can only get you so far. At some point, readers will want something to happen.
The story gets sidetracked
For every scene – and, for that matter, every chapter – you should know what it’s up to, what its purpose is. Anything that detracts from that purpose slows pacing.
Thing is, it’s not always easy to know when you’ve got sidetracked, especially during the first-draft stages when getting the words down is priority number one. Either during writing or revision, keep laser-focused on what you want to achieve in this scene: to show Freya’s change of heart, to deepen the siblings’ relationship, to give Lucien the chance to grieve.
Example one: you’re introducing several characters at once. The reader only needs to know who’s in the scene and, perhaps, their relationship to the POV character. They don’t need to know their quirks or some exciting titbits now; save those for later. The goal is to orientate the reader to the scene and who’s in it.
Example two: a character receives a revelation or bad news. What should follow immediately, what the reader wants to know, is the character’s reaction. Any attention given to what others are doing, background information, or musings will get in the way.
Nothing happens
A story with superb prose, witty characters, or detailed settings won’t hold readers’ interest if nothing happens. Unlike the above where there are events that propel the story forwards, albeit with distractions, sometimes there’s not enough plot to pick up the pace at all.
Suppose Marge, living in a quiet coastal town where fog rolls in thick year after year, begins to hear a low, droning hum at night. She’s the only one who hears it.
She goes to the doctor, who can’t diagnose anything.
She brings it up to her friends at the bar, who laugh it off, thinking she’s messing with them. Frustrated, she hires the local radio technician to investigate, and he can’t find anything.
She stays at home, going about her day, walking the dogs, trying to ignore it. She decides to not tell anyone about it…
Nodded off yet? I nearly did. Stories should spark character change through conflict and force them to make decisions; too many trivial scenes slow pacing to a crawl.
Read through your story, and for each scene or chapter describe, as briefly as possible, significant plot events and character goals/motivations. An entry for a chapter may be simply ‘dead body found, MC (main character) decides to hide it’ or ‘MC’s formal magic training begins. They realise they’re not as good as they thought’.
This is a great way to map the narrative’s ‘spine’ and reveal any chapters that have nothing important going on. If there’s an eventless scene/chapter, can it be tweaked or more tightly linked to the plot, or can it simply be removed?
Stories should spark character change through conflict and force them to make decisions.
Final thoughts…
Slow pacing is often the symptom of many things: the author wants to share every facet of their detailed world; they don’t believe the author will understand the scene without a flashback or info-dump; they decide they want to explore other parts of the story midway through writing.
If that sounds like you, there’s nothing wrong with any of that (at first). Through writing you may discover threads you want to explore, or those flashbacks help you understand your characters’ motives better. But it’s important to go back and trim excessive detail or meandering when revising.
Look out for the following to keep your novel’s momentum going strong:
- Too-long flashbacks
- Mundane scenes being shown
- Excessive world-building and description
- Scenes being sidetracked
- Events that don’t advance the plot
